Dazed and Confused

Poisoned!

I read quite a few blogs.  It's a time sink that I enjoy.  I learn a lot of cool stuff from these blogs.  And some chilling things, as well.

Something Kate Collins posted on The Cozy Chicks a few days ago concerns fluoride in our water and toothpaste.  Did you know there's no real evidence that fluoride helps keep your teeth from getting cavities?

Kate said, "Ask your dentist if those fluoride treatments really do any good. I did. My dentist said very quietly, 'No, they really don’t.' P.S. He didn’t want anyone else to hear."

I'm not surprised.  As a kid, I went to a dentist who gave me fluoride treatments every six months.  We brushed and we still got tons of cavities . . . until we changed dentists.  Then suddenly we stopped getting cavities and having our molars reamed.  Of course, by then, the damage was done. 

I currently have 12 crowns and a bridge.  Most of those teeth that were filled have cracked, because there was very little tooth left.  I have thousands and thousands of dental work in my mouth -- work that never should have needed to be done.

Am I pissed about this fluoride deception?  You bet.  And angry that an unscrupulous dentist not only scammed my parents (who only wanted to do the right thing for their children), but ruined my teeth forever.

I now brush my teeth with a non-fluoride toothpaste.  You might want to do the same thing.

It's gotta be perfect

Thanksgiving:  Two days and counting.  Once again, I've started my holiday housecleaning late.  I've been working on a rewrite.  I gave myself the month of November to finish and I did--yesterday.  (Yea!  Bells ring--confetti falls!)

But that was Monday of a holiday week.  Added to that, I've caught a cold.  The last thing I want to do is tackle the months of cleaning I didn't take seriously while working on the last book.  Oh, my house isn't a the kind of hovel you see on "How Clean Is Your House."  Kim and Aggie might squeal a little in my bathroom, but I'm sure I wouldn't get the evil eye.  (Although Aggie might whip out her swabs to see if the boys in the lab would have a conniption fit.)

I have never been a Martha Stewart wannabe.  Okay, maybe 10% of me might aspire to that level of domestic divadom, but the rest of the time I handle household tasks when they need to get handled and not before.  (Like, why do laundry until you run out of underwear and socks?)

And then the holidays arrive.  Madison Avenue not only wants us to buy beyond our means, but ancillary industries (women's magazines and TV shows--in fact, entire TV networks (Food Network, HGTV, etc.)) want us to have perfect homes.  Perfect, antiseptically clean homes, with the perfect decor, perfectly laid tables with a feast worthy of a millionaire.

What makes us buy into this stuff?  I think it's guilt.  These days, everyone is pulled in so many directions, and we're bombarded with images that have little to do with our real lives.  And then the nostalgia factor kicks in.  We MUST do it as we've done it before.  We MUST have a perfect family, that looks like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting. 

The reality is that our lives aren't perfect.  Our families often disappoint us (and you know who you are).  The house isn't perfect.  The one place you didn't dust is the place where your brother writes the date.  The cat barfs on the rug five minutes before the company arrives--and sometimes waits until they sit down to dinner. 

Can't we just have a nice, peaceful holiday?  Enjoy each other's company and not worry about the dust or the cat hair on the couch?

Nope.  I'll be cleaning like a fiend for the next two days.  Gotta bake those pies--and roast that turkey.  After all, it's gotta be perfect.

Recycling postcards, etc.

When I had my signing for Murder is Binding back in April, I sent out postcards to my local readers.  I also had quite a few leftover.  The problem was, I didn't think ahead.  I have the title, date, the fact that it's Lorraine writing as Lorna (so that people wouldn't wonder who the heck was Lorna Barrett and why should they care that she's got a new book out), yada yada yada ... but I neglected to put a brief description of the story.

I'm running really, really low on Murder is Binding bookmarks.  Gulp.  What to do?

Then I remembered I had a bunch of shipping labels in my file cabinet.  I use these for bookplates.  In three years, I haven't had a lot of requests for bookplates.  I wondered if I could use them to add the blurb to the postcard.

Hey, WORD lets you do just that.  I figured out how to do it in less than five minutes and voila!  A use for the postcards.

Yeah, this isn't exactly earthshaking news.  But I have never been able to get WORD to make labels for me.  How come I did this time?  (Ya got me.)  Now I feel confident.  I'm looking for other ways to use these labels.

I feel like a kid with a new toy!

In other news, I'm guest blogging over at The Diva Dishes.  The blog owner, Krista Davis, doesn't have your usual blog.  Like the Domestic Divas in her cozy mystery series, she evaluates products.  As her guest today, I'm evaluating candle warmers.  Go take a peek.

Multitasking

I'm a faithful reader of Mary Kay Anderews' blog.  She often talks about her junking expeditions and her writing.  She finished her revisions on her last book last month and has already written the first chapter of her next book.

Gulp. 

I handed in the last book three weeks ago, and since then I've read my proposal blurb for the next book, but haven't written a word.  (I like to think its percolating on the back burner.  Okay, I may be delusional . . . but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.)

It's not that I'm not doing ANYTHING right now.  I'm working on a rewrite for a manuscript I plan to submit in January.  (Or . . . maybe December.  It depends how it goes.)  It's going slower than I'd anticipated, and I need to find me a couple of first readers -- so January is probably more realistic.  (Hey, we've got holidays coming up.  That always puts a damper on these things.)

The problem is.  I don't have a signed contract.  I don't know when the next book will have to be delivered.  I've got a proposal out there, too.  What happens if it's accepted?  How long will I have to deliver that first (and subsequent) books?  Can I really juggle three series?

I must be out of my mind. 

PET PEEVE THURSDAY

Today's Pet Peeve is about snow--and drivers who don't brush it from their car windows.

Winter has arrived and every year hundreds (thousands--millions?) of people forgot how to drive to accommodate the conditions.  There's no excuse for not clearing the windows on your car.  Why on Earth would anyone be so stttttooooopppidd???  They clear one small hole on the driver's side of the windshield.  They can't see what's behind them, and usually their side mirrors are covered, too. Not only that, but they get on the expressway (freeway to you west coast readers) and the snow comes off in sheets--usually hitting other drivers' windshields.  I'm sure these jerks cause tons of accidents -- inconveniencing people and ruining lives -- all because of their laziness.

Grrrrrrrr!

What's pissing you off today?

Book trailer update

My book trailer producer (Janet Koch) has delivered the book trailer for Bookmarked for Death, and I am absolutely delighted!  She did a wonderful job (for a fantastic price) and I can't wait to let you see it.

Can't wait--but won't do it until January.  Why?  It's too early to build "buzz" for the book.  Okay, I'm sending out bookmarks, reminding people the book will be available on FEBRUARY 3RD, etc.  But if the trailer is available now, people will look at it and forget about the book. 

At this point, we're planning to put it on YouTube (and my web site) on January 1st.  But here's a hint about what it includes.

Carried away by the holidays

My poor husband.  His sanity is at risk.  And there's not much he can do about it.  It's all in my hands.

Ya see . . . I like the holidays.  In fact, I love the holidays.  A LOT.  I love the lights, the decorations, the food.  Mostly, I like holiday music.  And movies, too.  And since November 1st, I've been playing my CDs and watching the movies, all of which drives hubby NUTS!

My newest favorite holiday movie is The Santa Clause.  Yup, it came out in 1994 but it was new to me about three years ago.  Since then I've probably watched it ... oh, twenty times.  (And I'm not even a Tim Allen fan!)  There's just something about little Charlie's faith in his Dad, and his pride that his father is indeed Santa, that just touches my heart.   I'm sure I'll haul out the other movies as the season continues, but I've already watched this one three times this month.  (Can you tell I'm between books?)

I've been playing the holiday music a lot, too.  The CDs are put away for ten months of the year, so it's like renewing an old friendship when I haul them all out.  My favorite is actually a cheapie I got at the grocery store.  It's called Popular Christmas for a New Age.  I think it cost me five bucks.  And since then, I've found copies at garage sales.  (Apparently not everyone loves it as much as me.)  I've now got four--YES FOUR--copies of it.  That means I can play it in my car, and have a copy of it in three different rooms of the house.  (Okay, I also buy a lot of boom boxes at garage sales.)

Hubby and I have side-by-side offices (I have to go through his to get to mine).  Naturally, as soon as the first strains of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" start up, he wails, "Oh, jeeze, the noise has started--again!"  (That's where the sanity comes in.)  We do have an agreement that I will NOT play the vocals until Thanksgiving . . . but I've already kind of cheated on that one.  (Just a little.)

The one part of the holidays that I absolutely love but try to avoid is the cookies.  The cakes.  The candy.  The hot hors d'oeuvres.  The cold hors d'oeuvres.  The eggnog.  The chips and dips.  Oh, I could go on, and on (and on).  But man--over the lips and forever on the hips.

I've got six more weeks of music, decorations, and lights.  And I'm going to revel in it.  How about you?

On the horizon . . .

Where the heck did I go this past week?  Well, no need for nail polish--I've been biting my nails . . . waiting.  I got a message from my agent saying, "They're going to make an offer."  And then I didn't hear from her for two days.  (Apparently she was playing telephone tag with my editor.)

So, what do I know?  Actually, not much.  Maybe I'll find out more today.  Meanwhile, I'm still waiting to hear about another contract.  (More nail biting.)

To distract myself, I spent all of yesterday getting ready for Craft Show No. 1, which is this Saturday.  The only thing I don't have packed is my little rug.  I think I've mentioned how standing on concrete for up to seven hours can really destroy your legs. 

I've got books, bookmarks, postcards, posters, not to mention the million-pound table.  I set the whole thing up in my living room so that when I get to the church I won't have to figure out what to do with my display.  But should the new book be on the right or the left?  And whose right and left?  Mine or my potential customers?

Meanwhile, the new book (out Feb. 3rd.) has been chosen by a large reader group for their March read.  (There're about 160 members in the group--and only about a third of them are other authors.)

All this stuff is on the horizon.  Meanwhile, back to work.

Gearing up for the holidays

While I've vowed to have a more simple holiday season, that doesn't mean I intend to abandon all my traditions. 

One of my newer traditions is "doing" craft shows.  Several years ago I'd read on a Yahoo! group (Murder Must Advertise, for those who are interested) that some authors had had good luck selling their books at holiday craft shows.  I decided to give it a shot.  I already had my tax form because at the time I had a booth in an antiques arcade.  All I needed to do was bring my books, decorate the table and sell, sell, sell.  I asked another local mystery author to go in with me.  We were stuffed into a small room with a couple of other vendors.  (This was 2006.)

My partner wasn't happy with our location, and while he sold more books than me, he abandoned me after about three hours.  Then something odd happened.  I started selling.  I didn't do terrific, but I had hardcover books and he had paperbacks.  I decided to come back in 2007.

By then, my book had come out in a paperback edition.  I had a much better location, and I sold books like crazy!  And it turns out, people who had met me the year before, came looking for me.  Two weeks later, a friend invited me to join her at another craft show.  Again, the paperback edition sold really well.  I was flying!

That next weekend, I went to yet another craft show near my home.  (In fact, right around the corner.)  Quite a few of my friends from the antique co-op were there.  While I didn't find the show's coordinator, I put my name on a list to be a vendor in 2008. 

After the new year, I tried to sign up for the show where I'd shared a booth with my friend.  I left 11 messages over the course of eight months and never heard a word.  Talk about bummed.  In September, a chum from the co-op gave me the name and phone number of the coordinator for the show near my house.  I called, left a message.  Nothing.

Major bummed.

Then in early October--I heard from both ladies.  Yes they had open booths.  Yes if I was still interested, there would be a space for me.  I could even pick where I wanted to go--and if they could accommodate me. . .  (Hey, I got my picks!!!)

So what's the point?  Paperbacks make great stocking stuffers.  I've also learned that people who sign up for my newsletter at these shows haven't got a clue what that means (and don't open my e-mailed newsletters.  Ah, the wonders of Vertical Response!).  I've learned to bring a carpet sample to stand on, because standing on concrete or a hardwood floor for seven hours really kills your legs.  There's excitement in the air as people find something cool to give a loved one for Christmas--be it handcrafted jewelry or a paperback for Aunt Mildred. 

The way the economy is these days, there's a chance I (and a lot of other vendors) could be very disappointed.  But I'm looking forward to these craft shows anyway.  They're fun.  And they're a holiday tradition for a lot of people.  Besides, I get two free hot chocolates at two of them.  How could I not be psyched?

Rattled--or--Fear of Spoilers?

So there I was on Saturday, about to give my new speech to the crowd eagerly waiting at my booksigning.  The CRM (community relations manager) introduces me and says, "And she'll talk about her new book."

Well, I hadn't planned to.  I mean, is there anything worse for the sale of a book than talking about it to your potential audience?  What do you tell that won't spoil the story for them?  What do you leave out?  And since I'd been working on the other series for the past three months, I'd have to wrack my brain to remember the more subtle points of the story.

As it turns out, that statement rattled me so much, that I lost it.  I didn't do my speech and seemed to rattle on for what seemed like hours, but was only about ten minutes, before the Q&A began.  As usual, there was one unpublished writer in the midst--and very green, too.  He didn't seem to know what a query letter was.  This wasn't the time to educate him, so I gave him the URL for The Guppies chapter of Sisters in Crime and wished him well.

I've got another opportunity to give the speech on Tuesday, and this crowd has already read one of the books, so it's likely there'll be a much better response.  But I think I'll practice the speech a few more times and will work up a quick pitch for the books.  I don't need to get rattled again. 

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P.S.  Today I'm guest blogging on THE LITTLE BLOG OF MURDER.  Find my post here.

Doin' a rain dance

It occurred to me last night--Oh! I have to give a speech on Saturday at my signing at Barnes & Noble at Greece Ridge Center (2-4 p.m.).

To tell you the truth, I hate doing a speech at a bookstore signing. I know other authors feel the same way--bigger time authors than me. If a lot of people show up, it's cool, but if you've got an audience of three--you feel like a fool.  People are milling around, wondering why there are 12-20 chairs assembled while you stand there talking to a couple of loyal friends or family members who dutifully arrived and sat in the back row.

The best bookstore events, in my opinion, are when you plant yourself (hopefully near the door) and greet people as they come in.  You ask if they like mysteries.  If they don't, you snap your fingers and say, "Darn!  And I'm a mystery author."  Usually, they laugh as they walk away.  If they give a hesitant "Y-e-s," you can hand them a bookmark and do your pitch.  Sometimes they buy, sometimes they don't.  But at this time of year, people are already thinking of gift-giving, and maybe a book would be the perfect present for dear Aunt Mable.

So back to the speech.  What the heck can I talk about?  I've already done the old "Writing under two names makes me a split personality."  This signing is geared toward my L.L. Bartlett name, so I should do something based on that series . . .

Meanwhile, I've got the rest of today planned.  I'll be doing an energetic rain dance.  On a sunny day in November, people are likely to forgo shopping to rake leaves, pull out those dead annuals, and button up the old homestead to get ready for winter.  But if it's cold and rainy . . .

Let it rain down on Greece!

Now on Kindle

After waiting for more than double the time they said it would take, Murder On The Mind is now available as a Kindle download.  It's got a new cover, but don't let the deer in the target put you (ladies) off.  No deer were killed during the course of this book. 

I'm pleased to be able to offer Murder On the Mind in this format.  There are other e formats out there, but judging from my royalty statement for Murder Is Binding, Kindle is the format that sells the best.  We're not talking thousands of books, but compared to the other e formats, it's hitting the top of the charts. 

Will I find a lot of new readers?  I have no clue.  I'm crossing my fingers really hard.  Meanwhile, if you're interested in reading the book, it's only $2.39.  Oh, and look!  There's a link to order it up on the right.  (How handy, eh?)

My blurb

I can finally announce the title of the book I blurbed during the summer.  It's for the first in a new series from Signet (an imprint of Penguin--also my publisher), Homicide in Hardcover, by Kate Carlisle.  I don't know how much they're using, other than what's up on the Splash page for Kate's new website.  So far, just too words:  "Delightful debut!"  Doesn't make Lorna look too articulate, does it?  I'd like to tell you what the entire blurb says, but I lost it on my hard drive.  Duh!  (Must learn to give these files better names.)

Anyway, Homicide in Hardcover has a great cover.  Check out Kate's Splash page.

Thinking of others less fortunate

I had this odd idea for my next book.  My agent wasn't sure my editor would go for it.  My editor wasn't sure he'd go for it, either--but in the end he said he trusted me and to go ahead and try it.  (I turned in the book this week, so I'm not sure he's read it yet.  If you're reading this, Tom, I'm still biting my nails.)  And no, I'm not dropping a spoiler, either.

Anyway, this particular book needed a LOT of research.  Part of that research was on food pantries.  It just so happens, that our very own Doranna has a connection with a food pantry.  For years her Mom has been on the board of the food pantry right up the road from me.  Doranna brokered a meet and greet, and I was given a wonderful overview of the Greece Ecumenical Food Shelf and their sister charity, The Clothing Closet.

As it happens, I've donated to this very food shelf a number of times and didn't even know it.  The Craft Antique Co-Op, where I used to have a booth, is a drop-off point.  (Go, Co-op!)

Doranna's Mom gave me lots of inside info on how the Food Shelf operates.  To be honest, I was overwhelmed.  When I left I gave her a check for the Food Shelf.  That was in June.  In the meantime, a lot of people have lost their jobs and their homes.  There are a lot of hungry people out there.  Just this week, the local paper ran a story on the local food pantries and how giving has not only dropped, it's plummeted--both in food and monetary donations.

Also in the news, was a story about cleaning out your closets.  Oy!  Our closets were bursting at the seams.  So, it seemed like a good time to go through everything.  I went through three closets here and helped my Mother go through her walk-in closet.  The net result was we had bags of good clothes to donate to the Clothing Closet, and more than I'd like to admit still had the sales tags on them.  Yes, never worn shirts, blouses, sweaters--brand new and taking up space.

Yesterday, I took a trip down the road and dropped off the clothes and a check to the Food Shelf.  I was extremely disheartened to see the changes at the Food Shelf.  Where there was a wall of boxes of food ready to be delivered in June--yesterday there were none at all.  Mondays they deliver food to hungry families, and there were no boxes assembled and ready to be delivered.  (I left as they were unpacking and sorting what they'd collected in the past week.  Still--was there enough to meet the needs of my community?  I'm extremely doubtful.)

The holidays are approaching.  As as character in Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol said, "At this festive season of the year...it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the poor and destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time.  Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comfort."

Those words were written one hundred and sixty-five years ago.  Sadly, some things never change.

Please don't be like Scrooge and dismiss the needs of the hungry in your community.  Especially now.  If you intend to spend hundreds of dollars on the holidays this year--perhaps you'll think about diverting a few dollars to those less fortunate than yourself.  You can make a difference.

(P.S.  Don't forget that many pet owners are among the working poor.  Feel free to donate cans and bags of dry pet foods to your local food shelter, too.)

Listomania

No doubt about it.  If I make a list, I'm a lot more productive.  Saturday night, I made a list of 28 things I want to get done this week.  By Sunday evening, I'd accomplished 8 of them.  I've got at least four things I want to accomplish by lunchtime.  I'm hoping to get even more done by the time I turn in tonight.

Are you like me?  Do you get distracted and therefore don't seem to get much done?  I've had a curio cabinet sitting in my entryway for the last seven months.  I pass it at least ten times every day, but it's been there so long, I don't even see it any more.  At first, I thought I'd keep it. (It's a former display piece from my long-gone co-op booth.)  But then it finally occurred to me that I have nowhere to put it.  I made that decision about two months ago.  But I was under deadline for the book, and it had become invisible.  It's time to put an ad on Craigslist and wave good-bye.

I have a ton of Tupperware and other assorted containers, but can I ever find the corresponding lids?  I'm tired of this.  Marrying up the containers with the lids is another item on my list.  (Of course, finding one place to store it all is another problem that needs solving.)

I've got a bunch of appearances this month and next.  I need to get ready for them.  Getting reading doesn't just mean tossing a couple of boxes in the back of the van and taking off.  You have to schlep your own tables, display pieces.  Oy!  And I'm taking different things to different venues.  (Some shows are stricter than others.)  So I've got sorting and matching and making a tablecloth on my list, too.

And when I finish up all the items on this list, I'm going to make another one.  It seems to be the only way I can get stuff done.

How about you?