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April 16, 2009

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I can't help but wonder - what if it had all gone horribly wrong? Travel [long plane ride to China], change of routine, new people, places and food -- all of these can cause varying degrees of meltdown in the Asperger world.

If the trip had backfired, sent the child into a tailspin emotionally, what about the whopping big book and travel advance? Would there have been a huge promo for a book about a failed attempt?

When you try anything new with any child, you don't know what will happen - and with an Asperger's personality, the chances for things to go sorely awry are magnified immeasurably.

If this bizarre adventure, which probably cost more than I bring home in two or three years truely helped this one child, I am glad for them.

But what a message of guilt and hopelessness for everyone else in the world with Aspergers in the family. Like, if you don't spend every waking moment and every cent you have, and then borrow some more, to try and "heal" your child, you are not the great parent that i am - and it is somehow all going to be your fault for just not trying hard enough, grasping at the right straws....

Now let's get really cynical and guess who will be cast in the movie about it all...
Gwen

Well said Jefffrey and Gwen.
I have a 14 year old daughter with AS.
I can not tell you haw many people have asked me if I tried a certain diet, read this book, met the doctor, tried that program and so on. When I say I've heard of the book, doctor, program, but haven't tried it, people look at me like I am an idiot and don't know what is best for MY child. The fact is not everything works the same way for everyone or every family.
My daughter is well aware of her condition. We as a family are doing the best that we can with therapy, inclusive education in a very good public school system and social opportunities.
Our goal is not to focus on "curing" my daughter, but rather to help her learn to be an independent adult who will someday contribute something to our community.

Hear, hear, Annette!

Well put, Annette and Gwen. My sole connection to autism is that my daughter-in-law tutors two young boys to prepare them for "integration" into regular school since we no longer have special needs teachers in our schools. But what you have said I have had these same kind of reactions with my husband's ulcerative colitis for the 15 years prior to his surgery at age 35. People tried to convince me he should drink lots of milk (now thought of as a trigger), shouldn't be working (and I should), all kinds of weird things and diets,that have no bearing on anything except they "heard it somewhere"! Diagnosis was made in 1959, so little was actually known, and believe it or not, the main thought was that these sufferers should be seeing a psychiatrist! It drives you crazy, you have to fight to realize you are the only one along with your specialists, that knows what works best for your child, and it is NEVER your fault! I really feel for the parents of these children who already have so much to deal with, they do not deserve to have guilt trips placed on top.

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